*the road in texas that showed me freedom is more than an ideal*

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Pensive

It's been a year and a half since I last wrote in this blog. I locked it sometime around taking a "permanent" job and signing a lease in Rochester. Locked it up, put it away, forgot about it. Until this week when I saw it on my homepage beneath the blog I've been using to document sporadic portions of my life since graduating from college in December 2008. When I opened The Tao of K, I felt myself sit up straighter, hold my breath a little, and then sigh with relief as I realized how different my life is now, and how very much the same I am. I'd like to say that I've made huge progress in my pursuit of overall health in the year and a half that has passed, but it wouldn't be true. I have taken some steps, but they've been slow and most likely unrecognizable by most. Most days I consider myself to be better than the person I was a year ago, but then every so often my insides get twisted and turned around and I become someone I recognize but don't know at all (it happened this weekend, otherwise I probably wouldn't bring it up). When this happens I am blasted with the realization that I am far from the inner-person I aspire to be. I'd like to bring this blog back for the same reasons that I initially started it- as a tool to track my own progress in terms of relational, spiritual, emotional, mental and physical health. I'd like to share my experiences with whomever would like to be a part of them and hold myself accountable for checking in with the whole of myself regularly. To start: this morning I had grand plans of a 14+ mile run. I woke with aching legs and pained head. My baby kitties sprawled on top of and beside me. I stayed in bed for another 45 minutes then slowly got up, made tea and eggs for myself (something I never do- a real breakfast at home?!) and breakfast moosh for eugene. I washed the dishes from last nights dinner slowly, then migrated to the couch where I watched eugene get ready through the rooms separating us. Pensive. Today I am pensive. Progress- I no longer force myself to run if my body tells me it doesn't want to.

No comments:

Post a Comment